Random Advice

The following is a list of advice and/or personal stories given or told to me at various times and in various places by complete and total strangers. I have arranged them, generally, in order from tamest or most helpful to oddest or least appropriate to hear from a complete stranger:

• "When the baby goes down [for a nap], you go down."
• "Get all the sleep you can, while you can. You're not going to sleep again for 18 years, and maybe not even then."
• "Water is nature's epidural."
• "...And my poor husband was just standing there, shivering, in the shower with me while he aimed the shower head at my uterus."
• "Remember, we're just like other mammals. There is a reason why a cat doesn't have kittens in the middle of the kitchen floor in the daytime. She goes to a dark, quiet place to have her litter."
• "I like the name we chose for our son. Actually, my husband chose it. Have you ever seen that movie Pet Cemetery? Well, there's this little boy who is hit by a truck and dies. His name is Gage. That's where he got our son's name."
  
• "Are you going to breastfeed? Good. That's best. But you're going to have really sore nipples. My doctor told me that sun is great for that - it helps dry them out. So I just found a window where no one would see me and I'd stand there and just bake 'em."

There are actually quite a few more, but I just wanted you to have a little sampling of what my life has been like for the past few months. Many well-meaning folks have shared many things, but as you can see, some anecdotes really ought to be saved for people you actually know...