Baby Updates and Doula Thoughts

I had drinks (well, the others had wine and I had some fruity mocktail concoction so as not to feel left out) with a doula/EMT/wife of an Eastern Orthodox priest last night (the Dana was there too - yay!). She was awesome! I loved talking to her about birth plans and delivery options and just things that they know about.

We discussed some of the things that some hospital delivery methods do that counteract the natural urges and instincts of the baby. She was telling me that if they didn't take the baby away to clean it up (and put something hard and intrusive into its mouth to swab and suction it) right away, but rather laid it on the mom's chest, that it would eventually find its way over to the breast and would likely begin to nurse on its own (resulting in far less frustration for many women who - quite rightly - face quite a challenge getting a good position and latch when we've taken most of the natural elements out of this process). There were a few more details that were awesome, too, but I'll spare those of you who would rather not hear about nipple changes and such, though, I would have to take time here to insist that a woman's body is a natural and beautiful thing - as is breastfeeding - so that no one is allowed to be squeamish about this. I do, however, understand if you'd prefer not to read about it on my blog. :o)

At any rate, I'm not up for a home birth or anything (in fact, I'm probably going to hell since I've made fun of many of them that have been featured on TLC and such), but I am very seriously considering having a doula so that we can talk about these things and plan for them. We'll see.

She did recommend a couple of books I'm going to check out:

Dr. Jack Newman's The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers

(which, hilariously, was published as something like Dr. Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding in Canada - we Americans like the dramatic titles, I suppose)

and

Ina May Gaskin's Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

Anybody read these? What did you think?

Anyway, the original impetus for this post was supposed to be a little developmental update. As of this week (week 22), baby is about a pound and nearly eight inches (crown to rump), or about the size of a small doll. Last week, she was about the length of a large banana! She has eyebrows and eyelashes and hair on her head, too (though apparently it has no pigment so it is bright white). She can now hear my voice, as well as all the other sounds going on in my body (heartbeat, digestion, blood movement, etc.). She has developed the sense of touch, and can even grab onto the umbilical cord if she wants. And even though she has fused eyelids, she is starting to be able to perceive light and dark, so according to What to Expect, I could shine a flashlight on my tummy and she may be able to see it.

I can definitely feel her moving around now, but it's rarely repetitious movements, so if I'm not paying attention, I miss the fleeting little motions and sensations. However, we were still in bed yesterday morning and I could feel some pretty solid movements, so I checked to see if I could feel them from outside my belly. I thought perhaps I could, so I grabbed Coleman's hand and put it in the area where I had just felt her. She kicked or bumped again, so I asked if he felt it. He said he thought so, especially when I pointed out where it would have been. However, right after that, she did it again, in the same spot and with the same intensity as she had just done it. She almost never does that! It was as if she knew her daddy needed some confirmation, so she gave us an encore, just to make sure he knew she was there. Okay, so I'm probably giving her way too much credit, but it was pretty fantastic, especially since Coleman had to get on a plane later that day and won't see us for another three weeks.

I hope you're all well. Let us hear from you!

Sonogram and Baby's First Pics*

*Adapted from an email some of you have already received. Many also know the baby's sex by now, but in case you don't, read on...

Well, we had our first sonogram at 19 weeks (roughly 20 is standard, but we wanted to do it while Coleman was in town) and it went GREAT!!

(Isn't this a lovely shot??)

Baby has all requisite fingers, toes, eyes, etc. The heart has all four chambers and was pumping blood like a champ. The spine is very straight, the brain oh-so-developed, and the heart rate was in the exact middle of the expected range (140-160 bpm and baby's pumping at 150 - already following directions to a tee!).

Baby Fannin is weighing in at 12 oz. and is right on track, growth-wise, for my due date, which the tech confirmed as 6/24. The tech was wonderful by the way. She was great at narrating what we were looking at and was just really personal and warm. Every staff member I dealt with there was incredibly nice, so it made the whole experience a joy.

Baby was doing its own thing, though, and was in a "challenging" position to see the sex. "It" was head up, so to get a between-the-legs shot required a lot of belly mashing - I was a little sore for most of the day. We found out, though, and...

...it's a GIRL!!!!!

I won't post the shot that shows the "It's a girl" angle, though it's a classic. Very clear. I've already been told that she'll kill me some day when she finds out I sent that picture around, so I will draw the line at putting them online.

However, we did get a great side shot: baby's first picture!

There is also a series of three (they start at the bottom) where she is pointing at her nose, then bringing her hand to her forehead. I hope you can see it at this size... It was the very end of the longer-than-expected process, so we posited that she was flustered and just wanted us to get out of there and let her sleep! Perhaps she already has her mother's "flair for the dramatic," or at least that's what I've been told.

Either way, the baby was already posing for us.

So, we're having a healthy baby girl. A concerned family member expressed her worry that we are going to dress her up all frilly and that she "won't know what to do with her." However, no child of mine will be a little doll, but a dynamic, substantive woman-of-depth-and-purpose-in-the-making. She will also have every opportunity to become the most well-rounded little girl you've ever met. My dad has already called dibs on becoming her softball coach, Coleman's mother has signed up as her tennis and basketball coach, and Coleman and his father are both vying for who will turn her into the world's greatest flyfisherwoman. I've already got her listening to opera and reading her poetry, and my mom will have to handle passing along all the domestic arts and horticultural skills that I have never acquired with as much grace as she has.

I know that she will grow up with her own personality and will form an identity all her own, though it will be one lovingly informed and shaped by every one of you. Heaven knows I expect to have a headstrong, independent child (if karma or genetics have any say in this), and I look forward to getting to know her.

Her dad is quite the softie, though, and is already wrapped around her little finger, so we should all be a little worried about that!

Belly Shots

Okay, so some of you have been clamoring for belly pics, and I'm happy to oblige. I haven't been good about documenting this process, but I do manage to remember to get Coleman to take a picture every once in awhile.

Looking back on it, I wish I had taken a picture from the beginning; first, to establish a true baseline, and second, to preserve it for posterity. Shall I ever have a waistline again? I know it's a little early to despair, but that's more easily said by people who aren't currently watching their body morph and bulge beyond recognition.

Okay, so here's what we have so far:

This is a picture from Week 7

I probably should have done my hair for this shot, or at the very least dried it, but what are you gonna do??

This is from Week 12

A little bulge starting to show...and notice I'm no longer fitting into my normal pants. Yes, the terror started to set in about this time.

And here we have Week 18

Definitely, definitely prego. I might also mention that this picture took awhile to take, mainly because Coleman couldn't stop laughing long enough to hold the camera still. He had just looked at the shot from week 12 and thought the change from that shot to this one was highly amusing. I'm sure it will not surprise you to know that I did not find it so amusing. And secondly, I had to put on a different top. I started out with the same tank from last time but Coleman (rightly) advised that it might not be as modest as it used to be.

So there you have it, folks. Check back in occasionally for updates. There are many weeks (and pounds...and inches...) to go!

Welcome!

Hello all! Welcome to the baby blog. For all my friends who knew my last blog, this was originally to be entitled "Mr. Bojangles Plus One" but Coleman thought that it wasn't inclusive enough for his friends and family. He was right - it should be about all of us - so I gave in, but I still miss the name...

And speaking of names, we decided to call the blog "Plus One" because that's what we call the baby... as in, when you get an invitation and it has a "plus one" included so you can bring a date...so I once or twice referred to the baby as my plus one and Coleman picked up on it and it stuck.**

And technically, we call it "the plus one," but whatever.

At any rate, this blog probably won't offer anything profound about life or procreation (though I'm not responsible for teary posts later on when my hormones have run amok) - we just want you to be able to keep up with us from afar (or near) as we go through this nutty, wild, and wonderful process. We hope to keep you updated so that you can be involved in our lives no matter where you are. And hey, who wouldn't want to see me get all kinds of fat and swollen? That's just great entertainment!

So check back occasionally for more stories and pictures, and be sure to leave us comments when you visit so we know that you love us!


**Coleman will tell you a different version of this story, but he has a famously heinous memory, especially where details or proprietary claims are concerned, so you can humor him, but you all know the truth.